I’m especially proud of him this week, given his statements in support of  same-sex marriage. I agree with his position: I feel strongly that two adults who love and want to commit their lives to each other; who want to become spouses, should be able to do.

As I’ve watched him come to this decision and share it with the nation, I’m pleased to see both courage and wisdom in it.  Courage in a leader is a blend of toughness, decisiveness, willingness to move past one’s own limitations, humility and resilience.  It involves making difficult business and personal decisions; overcoming fear and risk to act on those decisions; and responding to the outcomes of those decisions in a responsible way.  People need courageous leaders in order to know that someone will make the tough calls and take responsibility for them.

Wisdom is one of the attributes that balances courage: it is the ability to reflect and understand, to grow from that understanding, and to share the insight that arises out of that reflection and growth.  Wisdom is the process of consciously learning from one’s experience, and offering that learning for the benefit of others and of the enterprise. I really liked hearing the President talk about how his own point of view on this issue had evolved over the past few years through knowing and talking with gay and lesbian couples on his staff and in the military, people who loved each other and who wanted to marry – but couldn’t.

You are, of course, welcome to disagree with me – I know politics is a contentious realm, especially these days. But I’m really glad to have a president I respect, one who demonstrates the qualities I most want to see in any leader, but most of all in my country’s leader.

She asked me what I meant, and I talked about some of what’s happening: new Proteus consultants outside the US; a focus on creating much more scalable processes and systems for supporting our work; clarifying the Proteus brand to help more people understand what we have to offer; approaching the new book in a different way than we did the first two – better wiring together the success of the book with the success of the company; finding ways for everyone at Proteus to be involved in the success of both.

And I realized, as we were talking, that though a number of these things (and many others) have been in the works for the past year or two, it’s just lately that my image of our company is changing to accommodate them.  Until recently, I thought of Proteus as a tiny high-end consulting firm – very good at what we do, but known only to a small group of very discriminating clients.

Now I’m seeing us as a small but world-class enterprise.  I honestly believe we are as good or better than any other group at supporting leaders to get ready and stay ready for their future. We bring to that work a combination of skill, heart and intention that I haven’t seen anywhere else. And perhaps most important: we practice what we preach.  We’re not perfect at it, but we hold ourselves accountable to do what we encourage and teach our clients to do.

I notice that as my perception of us is changing, my behaviors changes: I act in ways that support and allow those changes to take place. And it reminds me how I’ve seen way too many founders of companies get in the way of their companies’ evolution by holding on to old, no-longer-true images of the organization and its capabilities.

It’s kind of like parents who won’t let their kids grow up: if you insist on seeing a 25-year-old as a 10-year-old, he or she will either fulfill your expectations, and act like a 10-year-old….or break away from you in order to be able to become a grown-up.

I think this is true of all growth involving human beings: we can allow it to happen, or we can get in its way.  And when we get in its way, it’s never good: bad for the aspect of us that’s trying to grow (resulting in stunted businesses, relationships, bodies, lives), and bad for our mental and emotional state (resulting in frustration, fear, belligerence, insecurity, stuckness).

I don’t want to hold any part of my world hostage to my limiting ideas.  This is yet another place where fair witnessing comes in handy: looking at any aspect of your life and asking, “Am I seeing this as it is now – or as it used to be, or as I wish it was?”

And then tonight, I was searching ‘spring’ here on my blog – just to see what I had said in years past, and found this post from last April:

Spring never fails to charm me.  Everything gradually waking up, reviving; all the rough grays, browns and tans softening, showing green or red.  Purple croci, yellow daffodils.  Running water appears from snow.  Mist on the river instead of ice.

You’d think it would get boring – after all, it’s pretty much the same every year.  But I find that if I’m open to being touched, lovely things always touch me.

Which makes me think that the experience of being jaded – “been there, done that” – is pretty much entirely a matter of what you assume about what’s happening, vs. the event itself.

For example, I know that I could look at the tree outside our bedroom window – we call it the beauty tree – and think, “Yeah, OK, here it goes again, just like every year: the buds that are starting to swell.  Then the leaves will unfurl from the buds.  Ho hum.” And that if I framed it that way in my mind I wouldn’t really see it; I would just check it off my mental list as something familiar.

But I can also not do that. Instead, I can sit in bed and notice how something that seemed completely dead two weeks ago is changing before my eyes; that the angular structure of every branch is softened by the rounding of the buds, making the ends of the branches almost hazy, and that tiny stripes and touches of the tenderest green color are beginning to give that haziness the look of green gauze.  I can be astonished by the beauty and the relentless, quiet swell of renewed life.

I can choose to be bored; I can choose to be enchanted.

And I thought – that’s exactly the experience I’ve been having the past couple of weeks; that’s pretty much the experience I have every year.

I very much appreciate that somehow I am mostly open to what’s happening in a given moment.  In the present moment, there is almost always something to be learned, to be enjoyed, to be explored, to be savored. And that moment can be fully engaging whether it’s filled with brand new experiences or experiences you’ve had a hundred times.

Almost every spiritual tradition in the world encourages people to live in the present moment (even Christianity: a verse in the gospel of Matthew notes, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”).

Why do you suppose that is?  I’m convinced it’s because we’re only fully alive when we’re aware of this moment.  Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m not talking about some mindless state of not thinking or planning (I’m all about envisioning/planning/executing).  I’m just saying that when my consciousness is grounded in the present moment, even as I’m  thinking about the future; when I’m aware of myself and of the world and the people around me – I truly enjoy being alive.

I recommend it highly.

Cleverness is not wisdom.
Euripides

And it made me think: there a lot of qualities that are somehow adjacent to wisdom, yet having them doesn’t necessarily make you wise. For example, intelligence, knowledge, analytical ability, thoughtfulness and – yes – cleverness.  All are generally useful and positive, all have to do with mental capability, Since wisdom is primarily a mental capability, too, I think it’s easy to confuse having these things with being wise.  Also, people want to believe they’re wise, so if we’re smart or clever or thoughtful, I think it’s appealing to assume that also means we’re wise.

So, what is wisdom?  I’ve thought about this a good deal, and spent years observing and coming to conclusions about it. Wisdom is one of the six core leader attributes in my new book, Leading So People Will Follow, and we’ve broken it into five behaviors, so you know it when you see it (and so you can tell if you are or aren’t being wise).  Wise leaders:

As you can see, from my point of view, wisdom requires intelligence, thoughtfulness and analytical ability – but it’s more than any of them.  The essence of wisdom is to be insatiably curious and yet objective, and then to reflect on and decide how best to move forward, based on what’s you’ve discovered.

There’s something about wisdom that seems old-fashioned; the monarch in an ancient tale; the guru at the top of the mountain. And yet, I believe wisdom is more essential today than ever before. With so much information, opinion, and activity coming at us all the time, it’s critical to be able to step back and get curious about what’s really happening; to look for patterns; to make decisions based both on objectivity and on a sense of what is morally right.

Without wisdom to guide us through, this 21st century world can devolve into a barrage of images and emotions, overwhelming and senseless. With wisdom, our vision, passion and courage have a foundation.

Since I started by quoting a wise man on what wisdom isn’t, I’ll end by quoting another wise man on what it is:

It is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.
Henry David Thoreau

I recently interviewed Wally via email (of course!); I wanted to share his coolness and wisdom with those of you who haven’t yet had the pleasure of his company, as well as those who have.

Q: “Three Star Leadership” has been a top-rated leadership blog for a number of years.  How did you start writing it – and where did you get the name?

Writing has always been part of my business and life. I wrote my first book in 1972. Over the years I’ve done articles, marketing copy, web copy, audio and video scripts and columns. I thought that blogging would be a perfect vehicle for me and the kind of value I deliver, so I started the blog as a trial and continued it when it worked. Two thousand plus posts later, it’s still working.

The name comes from some research I did on the difference between top-performing supervisors and other supervisors. When I asked senior management to identify their best supervisors, they didn’t always choose those who were good, let alone the best. Eventually I discovered that I needed to study people who were rated as excellent by three groups: their bosses, their peers, and their subordinates. The great ones got star ratings from all three groups, hence, “Three Star Leadership.”

Q: I know that you’re largely focused, at this point, on helping people write great business books. It seems like a valuable service, since so many people want to write books. Can you tell us how you approach the process?

Most of the people who contact me are thinking about writing a book, but, since they’ve never done it, they have lots and lots and lots of questions. They have very different wants and wildly different preferences. That’s why I developed what I call an Options Review Session; a free, no-obligation one-hour session where you can ask all the questions you’ve got about writing and publishing a book that will help you achieve your goals. I answer as well as I can. Some of the people who have an Options Review Session decide that I can help them with their project, either as a ghostwriter or a coach. I only work with people in situations where I think we can produce a great book.

If I’m the ghostwriter, then I’m the one with the fingers on the keys. I’m the kind of ghostwriter who’s a writing partner, not a transcriber or editor. I work on projects where I can bring some expertise to the party beyond the ability to string subjects and predicates together.

Coaching varies a lot according to what my client needs. I’m a good idea sharpener so I can help structure the project. I know the market, so I can suggest ways to add value to the book. And I’ve written (by most standards) a lot of books, so I know some things that work and some that lead to trouble. The client picks the amount of contact that he or she wants. Some want regular sessions. Others prefer to schedule a session when they need one.

Q: In order to be excited about this work, you clearly have to like business books.  What do you see as the value business books bring?

Great business books deliver value on both sides of the process. Readers get their thinking challenged and pick up new ideas, insights, and inspiration. But there’s value for the author, too. Authors gain expertise and confidence by working with their material in new ways and in depth.

Q: Everything we’re talking about has to do with information: how it gets shared, what we do with it.  I’d love to hear your thoughts about how things are changing in this area, and why it’s important.

Information is now readily available at any hour of the day or night no matter where you are in the world. When I was starting out in business, you spent most of your time finding information and less of your time figuring out how to use it or present it. Now, finding the information is the easy part and you can spend more time on use and presentation.

Just because information is available doesn’t mean it’s accurate or complete. The information we get today is often not filtered or vetted. We have to become our own editors and researchers, figuring out what’s true and what isn’t.

I think that within the next 10 years the majority of the information that we use for business purposes, including books, will be accessed digitally. Business books will get shorter and shorter.

For decades, the “standard” business book has been about 200 – 250 pages, more than 60,000 words most of the time. In most of those books, the core ideas could be expressed in much less space, so too many books are mostly padding. Look for more business ‘books” to come in between 10,000 and 25,000 words, offering readers more value and more choice.

Q:  Finally, when you think about your life as a professional, what’s one way in which you believe you’ve had a strong positive influence on the world?

I think the greatest contribution I’ve made so far is that I have helped hundreds of men and women do a better job as a boss. I’ve affected their lives, the lives of the people on their teams, and the lives of their families and friends. I think that’s pretty great stuff. A lot of what I write today continues that work.

As you mentioned, a lot of my work today is helping people produce great business books. I want to make a difference in the lives of the people I work with and also in the lives and careers of the people who read their books.

And there’s a human being, more or less in the middle.  That seems just right to me.

I’ve noticed that when people think of themselves as ‘too big’ – that is, as of having greater importance in the grand scheme of things than they actually do – it leads to all kinds of problems.  They tend, then, to think they’re more important than others, and to act accordingly: they must be right and others (who are different from them, or who disagree with them) must be wrong.  They can see the world as disposable, theirs to do with what they will. They can lose sight of how their actions affect others negatively – or, even more problematic, they can simply not care.

On the other hand, I’ve noticed that when people think they’re ‘smaller’ than they are – that their place in the universe is less than it actually is – they tend to behave in one of two unfortunate ways.  Either their actions demonstrate their belief that they’re tiny and powerless – not standing up for themselves, not trying to have a positive influence on the world, letting cruel or unfair practices stand without question.  Or their behavior demonstrates a continual defense against their belief they have no power: they’re aggressive, reactive, suspicious, envious.

The people I most admire and like seem to see their place in the universe pretty accurately: they’re content and comfortable to exist along the continuum of life. They recognize that some objects and events are much larger and more powerful than they are, and some are much smaller and less influential.  They have ‘reasonable aspirations’ about the impact they can have on their own and others’ lives – and they act to fulfill those aspirations.

Perhaps most important, their sense of their place in the universe fills them with curiosity and wonder, vs. fear, belligerence, or over-weening pride.  They are content, appreciative, and ready for life.

I think the core reason I love this graphic so much is that it marries logic and spirit: it’s a wonderfully scientific representation of the wisdom of the middle path.

When we work with teams, we quite often use a model that focuses on five elements that characterize high-performance teams: clear and compelling goals; well-defined roles; simple and effective processes; practical measures; and high trust.

Over the course of the day, we worked through all five elements, and I helped the group agree on ways to clarify and improve in all the areas.  When we got to trust, there were a few fairly minor things that needed to be addressed, but overall it was the element that required the least work.

As I thought back over the day, I saw that this core of trust was at the heart of what made the day so productive and enjoyable.  People told the truth to each other; they felt free to disagree; if someone didn’t know something or turned out to be wrong about something, that was OK.  There was a lot of humor, and people were at the same time relaxed and focused throughout the session. It would have been hard to ascertain who was responsible for the various ideas and agreements that ended up in our final work product: once an idea was on the table, there was little pride of ownership – everyone weighed in, riffed, made it their own.  It was truly a group process.

At dinner that night with the group, an exceedingly enjoyable and comfortable affair, I realized that their trust has this same positive impact on their interactions every day. This group of people is extraordinarily successful and effective by every measure – financially, creatively, and in terms of building long-term asset value. Their trust in each other is like a lubricant: it makes their interactions smoother, faster, easier, clearer, more accurate. They waste much less time than most teams in miscommunication, useless political wrangling, self-protective posturing.

Once again, I saw the importance of trust; it really is the foundation of great personal and professional relationships. When there’s trust, nearly anything else can be solved. When there’s not, it makes everything else difficult.

Think of all the things that any child learns between the ages of 0 and 3: how to walk, talk, eat, play games, sing, run, climb; the basics of social interaction; how to express an enormous range of emotions; the core of logical thinking (cause and effect, for instance).  And on and on.

And it seems to me that little kids are such astonishingly adept learners because of two things 1) they’re insatiably curious, and 2) they don’t attach any negative emotions to not knowing something – no worry, embarrassment or fear.  Here’s a great little example of me showing Hannah how to do something new – and her having no hesitation or resistance:

She looks at the dirt on her hands, not knowing what to do.  I show her a way to get it off.  She watches, tries it; it works.  Success!  New thing learned!

When I’m at my best, I’m almost this curious and  this unafraid.  Learning is then fast, fun, and nearly non-stop.

I’m realizing that I aspire to bring the curiosity and fearlessness of a toddler to my grown-up life: what a great combination.

At times (not always, but often) our human endeavors create a different but still compelling kind of beauty.  The skyline of New York can be breathtaking.  Watching the hammers hit the strings inside a piano is a neat yet complex mechanical choreography, an engaging counterpoint to the music being produced.

Today a friend sent me this wonderful little video of commercial flight paths around the world over a 24-hour period. (If you view it full-screen, and high quality – click the little ‘cog’ in the lower right-hand corner, you can see the daylight moving across the world, too.)

The little yellow dots are like a dance of airplanes; they flow in one direction, then, as the world turns and day becomes night in a different part of the world, they flow in another.  I don’t know exactly why I’m so charmed by this.  Maybe it’s because I love the idea that we sometimes create beauty without intentional effort – and sometimes even in spite of ourselves.

And maybe it’s simply that I enjoy finding beauty, and I like being surprised by its existence in unexpected places.

For instance, I just went from laying on a Caribbean beach with my darling husband, doing absolutely nothing, no responsibilities other than enjoying his company and avoiding a sunburn to – BOOM – standing in a big corporate meeting room outside of DC, facilitating a session with 50 people, none of whom I’d ever met, about the digital future of their company.

Different on almost every level – and with very little ‘shift time’ in between.  This kind of rapid alteration of circumstance and focus is specific to our modern age.  At any time in human history up until the past hundred years or so, it would have taken me days or weeks even to travel from Jamaica to DC.  I would have had lots of time to make the physical, mental and emotional changes required.

And until this past century or so, most people’s responsibilities and activities were more ‘all of a piece’ and less changing, as well; you were a farmer, or a housewife,  or a shopkeeper, or a person of wealth and leisure – and that was what you did most all the time.

Now we all play lots of different roles: a farmer can also be a housewife AND a person of wealth and leisure.  In fact, one of the people on the beach with me in Jamaica was Sandy, a row-crop farmer and housewife from North Dakota, who was spending a week doing the same thing I was doing – and what in earlier times would only be done by people of wealth and leisure.

We haven’t had more than blink of time, evolutionarily speaking, to accommodate ourselves to these new possibilities.  No wonder we often feel tired, overwhelmed and confused.

I suspect the best way to thrive in this new world is to have a really strong sense of who you are at your core.  Who are you that doesn’t change, no matter where you are, what you’re doing, or who you’re with?  If you’re clear about that, then you can dance through the changes…

So, how would you answer that question?